I don't know what had happen to me. I thought I can go through with this. I really really can't right now. I always decide things without even think of whats the future offers me. It really messed my mind up. I thought it was already the best decision I've ever made. I am definitely terribly wrong about this. But what to do. I've made it, and I will try my best not to regret it. I've made a new resolution. What ever it takes, I have to honor it. But I'm stuck like in the middle of nowhere. Nowhere to go. Even cigars didn't help me to clear all this mess up. It's like I can't take it anymore. But this is definitely not my last good bye. It's just an ups and down of my plain white life. Yeah Ikhwan, go give your filthy little hope to all you care the most. And break that hope into pieces. You're good at it right Ikhwan?
I feel like shit right now. Bye everyone